The Undateables
The fourth series of the Undateables began tonight. I have been a frequent viewer in the past although often through my fingers. As someone who has a very limited dating history and who finds it an ongoing struggle, the programme resonates strongly with me and I find it an interesting if occasionally very uncomfortable watch.
As with all of the subjects of this type of documentary series, I am concerned about the impact of being under the microscope. A friend of mine works with Ray who appeared in a previous series and I briefly met him on one occasion. He seemed a nice guy who coped well with the occasional attention he received in public. I suspect it would take a certain kind of bravery for the participants to search #theundateables though.
I identified most with 21 year old Alex, a car fanatic with autism who feared the prospect of "my heart being thrown in a giant shredder". He had never asked anyone out and when describing his situation said "Confidence has been the barrier all along". Truthfully, I'd say the same of myself. His first date with Eloise felt painfully familiar. Long awkward pauses, holding your drink to your mouth for as long as you possibly can and all of the textbook signs of fear and anxiety. But they finally broke through the ice and there seemed to be future potential for them.
Daniella was described as a thrill seeker but one who had never been in a relationship. Her Apert syndrome had clearly badly affected her self-confidence, although I considered her to be attractive. Her date, Guy, seemed initially uncomfortable but this gave way when they hit the slopes at an indoor ski park and they shared in their mutual love of physical activities.
31 year old Matthew had the intriguing career of a professional life model, but clearly felt that his stutter was holding him back in pursuing his relationship. What also seemed a concern was his desire for a woman who measures 16" from shoulder and shoulder and carrying a tape measure around with him. He met Jessica, a business coach who reacted to his attempts to ascertain this information remarkably well, although admitting "As unusual goes, it's up there". Interestingly, the show appeared not to set him up through one of the conventional agencies they've used in the past or with someone similarly afflicted. This was a refreshing change of pace, as the inclination in previous series has been to arrange dates between disabled people.
Anyway, if she can accept your desire to measure the widths of her shoulders on a first date, she's probably the one. So it proved with Matthew and Jessica moving quickly into a relationship with him feeling so comfortable that he believed his stammer to no longer be an issue. He asserted that "In a city with 14 million people, there's always a perfect match for you". I'm not sure if I with him but nonetheless I found this section rather moving.
Any of the old cliches about people "overcoming adversity" and "that we're all the same deep down" seem a little trite here. But I'm glad that a programme like this is on television. I'd like to say I now feel inclined to resume browsing OKCupid with a renewed sense of a purpose, but I fear there's still too much work for me to do on myself.
As with all of the subjects of this type of documentary series, I am concerned about the impact of being under the microscope. A friend of mine works with Ray who appeared in a previous series and I briefly met him on one occasion. He seemed a nice guy who coped well with the occasional attention he received in public. I suspect it would take a certain kind of bravery for the participants to search #theundateables though.
I identified most with 21 year old Alex, a car fanatic with autism who feared the prospect of "my heart being thrown in a giant shredder". He had never asked anyone out and when describing his situation said "Confidence has been the barrier all along". Truthfully, I'd say the same of myself. His first date with Eloise felt painfully familiar. Long awkward pauses, holding your drink to your mouth for as long as you possibly can and all of the textbook signs of fear and anxiety. But they finally broke through the ice and there seemed to be future potential for them.
Daniella was described as a thrill seeker but one who had never been in a relationship. Her Apert syndrome had clearly badly affected her self-confidence, although I considered her to be attractive. Her date, Guy, seemed initially uncomfortable but this gave way when they hit the slopes at an indoor ski park and they shared in their mutual love of physical activities.
31 year old Matthew had the intriguing career of a professional life model, but clearly felt that his stutter was holding him back in pursuing his relationship. What also seemed a concern was his desire for a woman who measures 16" from shoulder and shoulder and carrying a tape measure around with him. He met Jessica, a business coach who reacted to his attempts to ascertain this information remarkably well, although admitting "As unusual goes, it's up there". Interestingly, the show appeared not to set him up through one of the conventional agencies they've used in the past or with someone similarly afflicted. This was a refreshing change of pace, as the inclination in previous series has been to arrange dates between disabled people.
Anyway, if she can accept your desire to measure the widths of her shoulders on a first date, she's probably the one. So it proved with Matthew and Jessica moving quickly into a relationship with him feeling so comfortable that he believed his stammer to no longer be an issue. He asserted that "In a city with 14 million people, there's always a perfect match for you". I'm not sure if I with him but nonetheless I found this section rather moving.
Any of the old cliches about people "overcoming adversity" and "that we're all the same deep down" seem a little trite here. But I'm glad that a programme like this is on television. I'd like to say I now feel inclined to resume browsing OKCupid with a renewed sense of a purpose, but I fear there's still too much work for me to do on myself.
You're brilliant, Richard Stainbank. Just remember that.
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