Smithfield

I headed to Smithfield last night for a rare headline slot. I was somewhat apprehensive about it. It's reasonable to say it's not something I'm called upon to do very often. I'm also quite conscious of the fact that in the recent past, the occasions where I've been paid have not been the most enjoyable gigs. The bizzare evening in East Dulwich where I took the bullet as the opening act, the deathly silence in a Kinks' theme pub and the bafflement of an elderly audience somewhere in the Kent countryside spring to mind. I don't exactly feel bad about it. I've performed a lot of gigs where I've been very good to excellent and not been paid. But struggling on stage bothers me, whether there's cash involved or not.


The promoter told me he sensed I was rusty at the start and there's some truth in that, having not gigged for nearly a fortnight and having not performed 20 minutes for a while. The crowd of about 25 had warmed up as the evening had gone on and I too hit my stride. I ended up doing 23 minutes and having listened back, I gave a good account of myself. What's pleasing to me is that I finally feel comfortable doing longer sets. Not only that but I feel comfortable taking my time, hanging in there and not panicking when material gets a more muted reaction than I would like.

I think I was so comfortable that I ended up being a little self indulgent at points. I adlibbed a bit about the personal setback I referred to earlier in the week that I stumbled over the words in attempting to articulate. There's something there though and a couple of smaller new bits have some potential for further development. A routine that I'd not done for a little while concerning my onstage choice of garment got one of the strongest reactions which again felt encouraging. After a bit of an indifferent start to the year, I needed that to remind me that I am actually good at what I do. I'll hopefully take these positive vibes to Croydon at the Scream Lounge on Sunday.