Writer's Block

I couldn't care less about Halloween. Trick or treating is American nonsense. Also, I grow tired of my contemporaries' obsession with fancy dress or cosplay or whatever it's called now.  If I didn't watch another horror film for the rest of my life, I'd be quite happy. Seeing "It Follows" earlier on in the year certainly gave me nightmares, but only as an example of dull and tedious film making.  I admit that I have negative associations with the 31st October that go back to childhood. My house was egged on consecutive Halloweens by my bullies at school who were apparently not content to restrict their abuse to school hours. The idea that people hate you so much that they feel compelled to vandalise your family's property is quite upsetting. Probably best not to dwell. Anyway, I have limited my celebrations to watching a Halloween episode of  Bob's Burgers, which has finally returned to UK TV via Comedy Central after an inexplicably long abse...

Very little happens in the sleepy little town* in which I live. So it was interesting to hear that Shaka Aamer was being repatriated to the UK via Biggin Hill Airport after a fourteen year long imprisonment in Guantanamo Bay**. I'll admit I don't know a great deal about the case, other than the fact Aamer has been jailed without charge or trial. I'm not the person to offer a withering crique of US policy in this regard. But for a nation who strive to take other countries to task over their human rights abuses, Guantanamo remains a sizable elephant in the room. Having watched a news report, I believe I saw Aamer's lawyer from the bus window of the 246,along with numerous policeman and cameras. It provided an interesting contrast with the rest of my afternoon, where I distributed vast numbers of betting slips in a parochial environment. Can one of you please remind me to get out of this town at some point? *When I was a kid, I maintained that Biggin Hill was a village...

It's been nearly two months since this record came out and I've found it difficult to write about. As I said before, The Wonder Years' previous record "The Greatest Generation" has become one of my all time favourite albums. No Closer To Heaven is a very different beast, forgoing that record's crisp production for a sound that's rough around the edges. "Cardinals" provides a high octane start, with furious drumming accompanying a soaring chorus. "I Don't Like Who Was Then" recalls the aspirational spirit that characterises much of the band's previous work ("I want to shoulder the weight til my back breaks, I want to run til my lungs give up"). Similarly "The Bluest Things On Earth" is the sort of crunchy riffed, anthemic pop punk track the band have become known for. "You In January" demonstrates a more pop friendly side to the band, its use of keyboards contributing to a more melodic focus.  Th...

Work again today. The quality of these blogs has taken a serious nosedive and I'm afraid it's going to get worse. If the last two days are anything to go by, I will lack the time or energy to write anything of real substance. There are two issues really. One, nothing tremendously eventful takes place. Two, talking about my new place of employment in depth is probably unwise. My neck hurts. My back hurts. I feel about a million years old. I'm waiting for news of Manchester United's league cup tie against Middlesbrough, after watching an utterly dull Liverpool victory over Bournemouth. As I write, it's 0-0 in the second half of extra time and simply want it to come to an end. EDIT: It went to penalties. United lost 3-1. Tremendous. Wayne Rooney was one of the players who missed. He turned 30 at the weekend and I increasingly fear that he is an example of nominative determanism I watched the video of Sonic Boom Six's new single "No Man, No Right" this...

work today. tired.

Work today. By which I mean the old work, rather than the new work. 498 people came through the doors of the studio on a pretty murky day, bolstered by the half term hoards. It might yet prove to be my final shift, but that's still a bit up in the air. Perhaps it's not that surprising that I've begun to look back on my time there more fondly since the prospect of leaving hoved into view. Even if for the past couple of years I've tended to fixate on everything about the job that drives me crazy. I would miss the people, I think. Generally a kind hearted friendly bunch, I've enjoyed working with people who are generally older and wiser than myself. I'd like to think I've grown as a person during my time with the National Trust and that my people skills have improved through working with the public. My fourth NT season comes to an end this Sunday. On one level it feels like the right time to bring it to a close. Basically, I'm happy to leave but happy to ...

I'm starting a new job on Tuesday, working five days a week at one of this nation's many bookmakers. Anyone who knows me knows that I've banged on about being unable to find work and my struggle to maintain a positive frame of mind for years now. This should feel like a cathartic moment, but it doesn't seem as simple as that. I'm a negative person who is trying to be less negative. A negative person in this instance might point out that the organisation had a lot of positions available and that some of the other candidates were not all that interested. But I still had to meet with said employers and say the right things and demonstrate that I'm enthusiastic and up for the challenge and I've done that. I've practically had an argument with one of my friends this evening about differing outlooks on life. Her views made me think about my own attitudes. Is there any sort of mitigating circumstances or justification for my struggles of the past few years? I...

I have returned from Edinburgh, via a five and a half hour train journey taking in every station in the Midlands. With a £20 ticket price, it would be churlish to complain. Also, I recommend falling asleep for a couple of hours as a strategy to kill some time. Prior to our departure, I enjoyed a slice of Tiramisu cheesecake at the Mallow Valley cafe. It styles itself as a "cheesecake cafe" and would doubtless be the subject of a misguided gentrification protest were it to open in Shoreditch. Unhelpfully, most of our last day centered around food. It wouldn't be a Edinburgh trip without a visit to the legendary Piemaker, home of of the Tatti Dog. The Tatti Dog is a hotdog wrapped in a potato rosti (also available with a jalapeno cheese filling). I believe I had six of them during this year's festival but settled for one of each this time. On the way to buying an enormous Gaslight Anthem poster from Avalanche Records, we passed The Fudge Kitchen, one of the capital...

We popped to Glasgow last night for a spot of ska punk, with Reel Big Fish and Surburban Legends at The Garage. Surburban Legends have frequently toured as Reel Big Fish's support act and their band of bouncy ska punk is the perfect precursor to the latter's headline set. Songs like "Open Up Your Eyes" and "Forever In The Friendzone" possess irresistably catchy hooks and a flurry of horns, even if you question whether a 35 year old man should be signing about the concept of the "friend zone" (answer: no). When the boisterous Glasgow crowd spontaneously burst into a chant of "Here we fucking go", the band take the ball and run with it. It's all rather good fun, especially when the band cut loose with some Disney covers, "You've Got A Friend In Me" being a particular highlight. Reel Big Fish are a consistently solid live act and last night's 75 minute set was no exception. The band haven't lost their sense of h...

blog later again

If you are attuned to pop culture you will know that today, 21st October 2015, is Back To The Future Day, the day that Doc Brown and Marty McFly travelled to in Back To The Future 2. I'm a relatively late convert to the Back To The Future trilogy but it's not difficult to see how the series captured the world's imagination, with great charismatic performances from Michael J Fox and equally terrific ones from Christopher Lloyd*. I saw a tweet earlier suggesting there was something inappropriate about Doc Brown's relationship with Marty McFly that genuinely made me a bit cross. There's nothing in any of the films to suggest that is the case. But I have become very intolerant of other people's differing opinions of late. I maintain that Back To The Future 2 is the weakest film in the trilogy. Although the bit set in the future itself is fun, it's difficult to escape the fact that most of the second half of the film is concerned with Marty ensuring that the ...

content later

Blog blog

My back pain combined with a tingling sensation in my leg led me to the conclusion that I was having some sort of Sciatica taster day. Will this finally make me address the issue of my health? Let's hope so. Otherwise, it was a typically busy Sunday at Chartwell. They were generally nice and generally polite. Perhaps a little too polite as one woman apologised for asking a perfectly reasonable question that I didn't know the answer to. The season ends on 1st November, so you've only got two weeks to get in on the fun.  I was in something of a strange mood yesterday. The band Slaves appeared as a promoted tweet in my twitter feed. Since this was to my mind essentially spam, I decided I was within my rights to respond. I informed them that they were one of the worst live acts I had ever seen before thinking better of it and deleting the tweet. I saw them supporting The Skints in Tunbridge Wells last year and after half an hour of dirge masquerading as punk rock, they ende...

A friend suggested that I get on with writing today's blog so that he'd have something to read over breakfast tomorrow. Who am I to disappoint?* I'm off to Edinburgh on Monday. I've been six times, but always in August during the festival. As a consequence, I've haven't done any of the tourist activities, save for being dragged to the Edinburgh Dungeons by my sister in 2011. I found it a rather lame experience. But most of the things that my sister enjoys are lame*. I am a cynical person but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. Anyway, here is a list of ten things I plan to do. 1. Post photos of my face with "AUGUST 2016" written on them around the city. 2. Eat a Tatty Dog. 3. Go to the zoo and look at a disinterested panda. 4. Go to the National Gallery. 5. Eat a spicy Tatty Dog. 6. Go to The Stand. 7. Watch Reel Big Fish. 8. Hang out in Falkirk with family for a bit. 9. Walk down the Royal Mile without being stopped by groups of drama stude...

In 2008, I was a finalist in the Chortle Student Comedy Award competition. The day after the final, I eagerly awaited Chortle's review. The first eight words of that review were "Richard Stainbank could be the male Jo Brand". I remember wandering around Auld Reekie for 24 hours seething at the comparison. I wore a black t-shirt most of the time so could understand it in a physical sense, although one's clothing options are limited at 22 stone. But I didn't think it was justified otherwise and I considered Jo Brand to be something of an irrelevance as a comedian at that point. I didn't feel it was a quote that would lead promoters to beat a path to my door. But I will concede that I was something of a pompous little shit at the time. For a while, it became a running joke among my family and friends. Brandgate then largely lay dormant until 2013, when Paul Fleckney of London Is Funny revived it in his review of the Comedy Knights Fresh Comedian Of The Year. Cl...

On top of persistant lethargy and having a horrible allergic reaction about twice a week at the moment, a nagging lower back pain has elected to join the party. Who knew that my terrible life choices would one day come back to bite me? Certainly not me, as I had successfully been living in denial about the issue for years. Anyway, the timing is rather irksome with a trip to Edinburgh coming up next week. The upshot is that I've been sofa and bed bound all day. I'm getting to the end of Season 5 of Community on Netflix. I have reached the conclusion that my overall opinion of the show is unlikely to change at this stage. The show has been the subject of a great deal of critical and cult acclaim but it isn't one of the all time great sitcoms from me. Some of the episodes entertain whilst some of them wash over me completely. It's a clever show which frequently addresses the tropes of sitcoms in a sophisticated way. But it isn't as funny as it needs to be. And John Ol...

Good grief, I am tired. Do I pin it on the medication, the mobid obesity or two consecutive early morning starts? Probably a little bit from columns A, B and C. I was late home last night due to a trip to Angel Comedy last night with prominent socialite Darren Maskell. We were under the impression that Nish Kumar was going to perform his award nominated show from this year's Edinburgh festival. As he explained, he was reluctant to give it away for free with a Soho Theatre run just around the corner. What we got instead was the first half of the show as it will be performed on tour. It was something of a greatest hits package from Kumar comprised of a few of the stand out routines from last year's show "Ruminations On The Nature Of Subjectivity" and some more recent musings. I've always been a little uncertain about "applause breaks" in stand up, as they tend to suggest what the comedian is saying is worthy rather than actually funny. But a section of...

Today I went and had a follow up interview after my session at the Job Centre last week. I generally feel positive about the way it went and believe that I spoke positively about myself. One of the panel was also very interested in my work with the National Trust at Chartwell, which gave me scope to go into a few more details and stay on the front foot. I should find out this coming Friday whether I've got the job or not. The interview only lasted about 20 minutes. I wandered into the local Sainsburys and noted that they were already selling a Christmas Sandwich. And indeed a Boxing Day sandwich. And a selection pack with one of each plus smoked salmon and cream cheese. This left me conflicted. I don't want to be one of those miserable fucks who complains about Christmas getting earlier and earlier each year. But 13th October felt a little too early to be tucking into a Christmas sandwich. On the other hand, I'm fond of them and took full advantage. There was a solid stuf...

Me: I'd better hurry, I've not got much time left to write my daily blog today. Dad: And does anyone read these blogs? Or care? It hurts more when it comes from the people you love. I will admit that my enthusiasm for writing these blogs is rapidly diminishing. Although as a friend of mine noted yesterday, I am reasonably close to the end so it would be silly to stop now. Equally, I'm finding it a struggle to find enough words to take me past my arbitrary self-imposed 250 minimum. Which brings me to the topic of today's blog. I'm afraid that it's going to be football again. Sorry. England completed a qualifying campaign for a major tournament tonight with a 100% record for the first time, beating Lithuania 3-0 on the way to Euro 2015 in France. It's very easy to be cynical about the English national side. But as the old adage goes, you can only beat who is in front of you and Roy Hodgson deserves some credit. But it's in the heat of the tournament p...

Blog

The problem with writing one sentence promising to come back to flesh out a blog later is that by the time I do come back to flesh it out, I have little recollection about what was happening on the day in question. Even if that day was only five days ago. I mostly recall a busy day at work with mostly nice people and watching Wales qualify for their first major international tournament since 1958 despite losing 2-0 to Bosnia-Herzegovina. People seemingly hate it when I talk about football so I won't bore everyone again. But I shall congratulate the Welsh on a terrific achievement, even if I suspect that they will come a cropper against more illustrious opposition in France next summer. That result began a late surge for Bosnia-Herzegovina who (along with Ukraine, Sweden and Hungary) will have a two-legged play off next month against Denmark, Republic of Ireland, Norway or Slovenia for one of the four remaining spaces at Euro 2016. The tournament's expansion from 16 to 24 te...

Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is an astronaut on a mission on Mars. A heavy storm forces his fellow crewmembers to evacuate the planet. During the storm, he is struck by debris and separated from the group. His commander Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain) makes the decision to leave without Watney who is presumed dead. After reviewing satellite photos, NASA realise that he has somehow managed to survive. The film then follows Watney's attempts to stay alive on a desolate planet and NASA's deliberations regarding if and how they should save him. It's a charismatic performance from Damon and the film is at its most interesting when showing him alone on Mars. There are few passable gags that don't detract from the overall tone of the film with Donald Glover partially channelling his character in "Community" in his performance as a slobbish astrophysics genius who identifies an unlikely option to bring Watney home. Although I doubt in real life astrophysicists have a c...

Mmmmm blog

Fairly productive day today. I went to a Job Centre recruitment session this morning and completed an application for a short term opportunity in the afternoon. As I hinted last week, I've had rather a turbulent relationship with the Job Centre but was impressed with the guys who came in to host it and did my best to make a positive impression. Hopefully it'll lead to an interview, but I'll have to wait and see. Also, my sister came home from a year in Bogota today. I probably should have led with that at the top of the blog. I will admit to some apprehension about her living in what has historically been one of the world's more dangerous areas, but I'm pleased she's come back to live with us for a bit. She also brought back a pair of delightful gifts for me, a lovely winter hat and a USB drive shaped like Maggie Simpson, which suggests that the market for knock off Simpsons merchandise is alive and well. I have been given assurances that it won't burst in...

The Front Bottoms have been one of my favourite musical discoveries of recent years, straddling the line between indie, alternative and punk rock. Now they return with their third full length record "Back On Top", a title that feels ironic given their maudlin outlook and self-deprecating lyrics. The trio of "Cough It Out", "HELP" and "Laugh Til I Cry" are some of the band's best songs to date. CIO with its "I am delusional with love" refrain seems set to become a singalong favourite at the band's live shows. "HELP" burrows into your skull courtesy of a fine synthesiser hook, as does LTIC, with its enormous radio friendly chorus. It feels like the band have pursued a more polished sound with the album and have succeeded in finding a balance without suffocating the rock elements that have garnered them a following thus far. This is a record with a great many pleasures, including the bluesy "Summer Shandy" a...

Weird Al Yankovic brought his "Mandatory Fun" tour to London last night, opening the show by singing his opening number in the street, walking through the crowd and ending the song on stage. It was a bold, distinctive opening to a terrific show. The performance particularly sparked into life during a polka medley of recent pop hits, Yankovic picking up his trademark accordion for the first time. Excerpts from the videos of the original songs played behind him, with LMFAO's "Sexy And I Know It" seemingly particularly ridiculous. In terms of performing parodies, Weird Al goes all out. I doubt I'll ever see another show with so many costume changes, with video clips used to cover them. Any aspiring multimedia comedians should study Weird Al, as his videos between songs are expertly curated, featuring snippets from his previous work and references to him in pop-culture. There were too many funny moments to mention, but the highlights were a bizarre fake inte...

Predictably, Dick Advocaat leaves Sunderland. He does so largely with the sympathies of most of the club's fans. The blame for the mess at the club right now cannot be placed at his door. It's the running of the club behind the scenes from boardroom level down where there have been failings for a long time. The three main candidates for the job appear to be Sean Dyche, Nigel Pearson and Sam Alladyce. Dyche is a promising, still relatively young manager who may well fulfil his potential in the future. The one adjective I would use to describe his Burnley side last season is "plucky". He's a strong motivator, but pluckiness along won't keep you in the Premier League as the previous campaign demonstrated. Nigel Pearson was arguably hard done by in being sacked by Leicester after pulling off a remarkable escapology act last season. I would be reluctant to see him come in purely on the basis of a good four month period and he carries a lot of baggage with him. It...

It's been a pretty grim day of sport. Sunderland raced into a 2-0 lead at home to West Ham, playing their best football of the season, before conceding a goal in first half stoppage time for the second week in a row. The second saw a red card and a goalkeeping clanger to cost them two points, failing to win in spite of their best performance so far by miles/ This has all of the hallmarks of a relegation season. Eight matches in and I've already reached the "acceptance" stage of grief. Will Dick Advocaat quit? Will he stay? I'm almost past the point of caring. Meanwhile at the Rugby World Cup, the chariots have seldom swung lower as England crash out of their own tournament at the group stage. They were comprehensively outplayed by Australia as too many positional and handling errors cost them dearly in a 33-13 defeat. They join their cricketing and footballing counterparts in being eliminated from the most recent World Cup at the group stage. I'm glad that...

I neglected to mention yesterday that I've now entered a tenth month of daily blogging. What an emotional ride it's been. I think in the past two months I've really hit a wall and there have been a lot more non-blogs and also a lot more blogs written (in a very real sense) at the eleventh hour. I'm surprised I've stuck it out this long but will continue to do so for the next three months until the sweet sweet freedom of 2016. I listen to Kermode and Mayo's Film Review Podcast quite frequently. There's not really been any reason for me to mention it until now, particularly as its one of the most downloaded podcast in the country. As I write, it is at number 7 in the Itunes Podcast charts. A few weeks ago they reviewed Everest and played a clip from the film. In it, one of the main characters informs the group that there is a certain atmosphere that they will be climbing in where the body starts to die and that they need to get to the bottom of the mountain ...

I did something that vaguely resembled a full day's work today, at a proper office and everything. So for once I feel justifiably tired as I channel hop. I saw Wigan ease to victory over Huddersfield in the Super League semi finals. They play the winners of Leeds vs St Helens (come on Saints!) in the SL Grand Final at Old Trafford a week on Saturday. To be honest, I was mostly focusing on the fact Huddersfield have a player called Jack Hughes, which sounds like "J'accuse" during commentary. I am very easily pleased. Having posted my review of Motion City Soundtrack's new record "Panic Stations" last week, I noted that Justin Pierre agrees with me about his band's strongest work, placing "Commit This To Memory" and "This Dinosaur Life" as their best two records. He revealed this in an interesting "Rank Your Records" piece, which can be read here . Having been to the final two performances of Richard Herring's ...