Worst Films of 2016
I took the plunge and got a Cineworld Unlimited card last year which resulted in me watching something like 43 films. As I'm a negative sort, I'll start with my top ten worst films of 2016 in no particular order.
Zoolander 2
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson go through the motions in this unnecessary sequal to 2001's cult comedy hit. Not the worst film I've ever seen, but totally mirthless and utterly uninspired. The funniest person in it is Sting, which ought to be a concern.
Grimsby
I've enjoyed segments of Sacha Baron Cohen's work in the past. Here he drags down Mark Strong with him to a pit of irredeemable vulgarity. If you enjoy watching two men flounder in an elephant's vagina while another elephant mates with her, by all means proceed.
Demolition
I saw this film on a date. Even with unlimited cinema, I would not have chosen it. Jake Gyllenhall stars as a man totally ambivalent to his wife's death. He's a difficult character to spend an hour and a half with. At one point his father his law tells him "It should have been you" and he's basically right.
High-Rise
It was often said that J.G Ballard's novel was unfilmable. On this evidence, they were right. Any interesting points to be made about the British class system are buried under vast quantities of hedonistic nonsense. If you saw High-Rise and had any sodding clue about what was going on in the second half in particular then please get in touch.
Ghostbusters
I saw both this and the original Ghostbusters last year and both of them are dreadfully unfunny films. I enjoyed Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids but they are badly off form here. I've liked Kate McKinnon's work on Saturday Night Live of late but found her an exceedingly irritating presence in the film, though Leslie Jones does solid work. The filn picks up a little towards the end but it's all a bit too little too late.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Mike and Dave need wedding dates. Then they get wedding dates. Then nothing entertaining or of consequence happens, then the audience go home.
Anomalisa
The stop motion animation in Anomalisa is genuinely astonishing, but I rather took against the film's content. Its depressive central character is one of the most dislikeable I've encountered in any movie in recent years. The film seeks to redeem him, but I couldn't. As I said at the time, a genuinely nasty unpleasant piece of work dressed up as something existentially profound.
A Street Cat Named Bob
A down and out recovering drug addict meets a cat who helps turn his life around. Nothing hugely offensive about this, but a cliche ridden story that didn't really amount to a film. Also it contributes to the irritating proliferation of cats in popular culture so marks off for that.
Sausage Party
A film made by idiot stoners, for idiot stoners. Sausage Party is interminable, combining terrible crassness with base level religious commentary. Seth Rogan, put down your fucking bong.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
I'll concede that this isn't anywhere near as bad as any of the other entries on this list. I generally go and see things I know I'll get something out of and avoid the generally acknowledged stinkers. There is no real need for this film to exist. One dimensional characters spend two hours basically fixing a plot hole from the original Star Wars. The Force Awakens was much better and anyone suggesting otherwise is clearly crazy.
Zoolander 2
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson go through the motions in this unnecessary sequal to 2001's cult comedy hit. Not the worst film I've ever seen, but totally mirthless and utterly uninspired. The funniest person in it is Sting, which ought to be a concern.
Grimsby
I've enjoyed segments of Sacha Baron Cohen's work in the past. Here he drags down Mark Strong with him to a pit of irredeemable vulgarity. If you enjoy watching two men flounder in an elephant's vagina while another elephant mates with her, by all means proceed.
Demolition
I saw this film on a date. Even with unlimited cinema, I would not have chosen it. Jake Gyllenhall stars as a man totally ambivalent to his wife's death. He's a difficult character to spend an hour and a half with. At one point his father his law tells him "It should have been you" and he's basically right.
High-Rise
It was often said that J.G Ballard's novel was unfilmable. On this evidence, they were right. Any interesting points to be made about the British class system are buried under vast quantities of hedonistic nonsense. If you saw High-Rise and had any sodding clue about what was going on in the second half in particular then please get in touch.
Ghostbusters
I saw both this and the original Ghostbusters last year and both of them are dreadfully unfunny films. I enjoyed Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids but they are badly off form here. I've liked Kate McKinnon's work on Saturday Night Live of late but found her an exceedingly irritating presence in the film, though Leslie Jones does solid work. The filn picks up a little towards the end but it's all a bit too little too late.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Mike and Dave need wedding dates. Then they get wedding dates. Then nothing entertaining or of consequence happens, then the audience go home.
Anomalisa
The stop motion animation in Anomalisa is genuinely astonishing, but I rather took against the film's content. Its depressive central character is one of the most dislikeable I've encountered in any movie in recent years. The film seeks to redeem him, but I couldn't. As I said at the time, a genuinely nasty unpleasant piece of work dressed up as something existentially profound.
A Street Cat Named Bob
A down and out recovering drug addict meets a cat who helps turn his life around. Nothing hugely offensive about this, but a cliche ridden story that didn't really amount to a film. Also it contributes to the irritating proliferation of cats in popular culture so marks off for that.
Sausage Party
A film made by idiot stoners, for idiot stoners. Sausage Party is interminable, combining terrible crassness with base level religious commentary. Seth Rogan, put down your fucking bong.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
I'll concede that this isn't anywhere near as bad as any of the other entries on this list. I generally go and see things I know I'll get something out of and avoid the generally acknowledged stinkers. There is no real need for this film to exist. One dimensional characters spend two hours basically fixing a plot hole from the original Star Wars. The Force Awakens was much better and anyone suggesting otherwise is clearly crazy.
Comments
Post a Comment