28th March

I lost an hour on Sunday and still didn't feel like the weekend was ever going to end, with two full length shifts and then a bit more. My industry has an exceedingly high turnover of staff. I don't think it's necessarily because people can't handle the work, but because the nature of shift work requires you to make certain sacrifices that some people struggle with. I think my life would be improved immeasurably if I could find 9-5 work and that's what I've got to strive for.

In the meantime, I have an exam tomorrow. I'm trepidatious about it. But then I was trepidatious about the last two. I feel like this is my "Boy Who Cried Wolf" moment though. Having falsely floated the prospect for so long, this is the part where I get my face mauled off. I've never failed an exam. I suppose it stands to reason that there's a first time for everything. But it'll hit me both in the pocket and in the head if I do.

Not only have I not been taking care of myself physically but I've also let my mental health slip a bit of late. I went through a prolonged depressive episode earlier in the month and have only been taking my medication sporadically. I'm now back on it regularly and hopefully in a much better position to handle things. Even if one of those things is ballsing up an exam.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'll See You In My Dreams

 Today is the first day of the 2024/25 English football season. It will be the first season that begins without my Dad, who died four months ago on 9 th April at the age of 76. My Dad and I have shared football together for as long as I can remember. I fell in love with football largely because of Eric Cantona, who I remember thinking was the coolest man alive. I dimly remember him returning to action after being suspended for his infamous kung fu kick on a Crystal Palace fan, scoring an equaliser against Liverpool and swinging around the stanchion behind the goal at Old Trafford. All of this subsequently led to me wanting to follow Manchester United. I am surprised in retrospect that this man from Houghton-le-Spring who spent most Saturdays in his youth at Roker Park to watch Sunderland AFC didn’t object more vehemently to this. Perhaps he saw it as a decent excuse to watch higher quality players than he was used to. Dad always wanted to watch good teams playing good football. ...
Read more

February In Film

  The Fabelmans The film follows Sammy Fabelman (Gabriel LaBelle), a young aspiring filmmaker dedicated to his craft who must negotiate the challenges posed by familial strife. Any resemblance to a real director is I presume entirely coincidental. One of my issues with the family early on is that they’re almost insufferably twee and not a great deal of interest seems to happen. The film’s central familial conflict feels somewhat implausible and is centred around Sammy’s mother Mitzi (Michelle Williams). I have enjoyed Williams’ work in the past but found her overwrought, hysterical performance here rather offputting.   Thank goodness then that Uncle Boris (Hirsch) arrives to drop a grenade into proceedings, explaining his own history with film and the arts and underlining Sammy’s forthcoming dilemma. He decides to get to work on his highest scale production to date, a war epic. These are the most joyous shots in the movie, teeming with invention especially in the deploym...
Read more

June In Film

  The Little Mermaid I have not seen the original Little Mermaid for something like 25 years. This probably aided my general enjoyment of yet another Disney remake, as I imagine that more diehard fans of the original would find more to fault here than I did. Having said that, some of the alterations worked for me such as the decision to give Prince Eric more backstory and a new song. Halle Bailey is perfectly cast as Ariel (regardless of what the internet’s worst arseholes will have you believe) and the quality of her singing is a match for the original. The highlight of the entire film is probably the moment when the crescendo of “Part Of Your World” hits, the waves crash against the shore and you’re fleetingly reminded of when Disney could still stir the soul. There’s an enjoyable performance too from Melissa McCartney as Ursula who brings a certain amount of fun to one of the House of Mouse’s greatest pantomime villains. Unfortunately, what these films lose in the transiti...
Read more