24th April

I feel pretty low at the moment. Today was one of those days where my brain posits the view that I am a failure in every single facet of my life and that I deserve to be unhappy.

On Wednesday I'm taking the penultimate exam of my accounting course. On Friday I'm travelling to North Wales and on Saturday I'm performing my solo stand-up show "The Wilderness Years" at the Machynlleth Comedy Festival. Leaving aside the sense that I've undergone so many academic endeavours by now that I'm starting to get burnt out, everyone gets trepidatious about exams. But I ought to be much more excited about going to an awesome comedy festival populated with awesome people and performing an hour of my own stuff on a bill alongside a number of brilliant acts.

It's a possibility that I could have a great show and a lovely weekend and reignite my love affair with stand-up comedy. What feels a good deal more likely is no-one showing up or me coming to the realisation that my show isn't as good as it needs to be and that I'm not as good a stand-up as I need to be. It's an anxiety I can do without, but I'm still going to go up there and give it my best.

I need to declutter my mind at the minute and hopefully I can do that once I've got this week out of the way.




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