28th May
A relatively quiet day at work. A BBQ was taking place in the beer garden of the neighbouring social club and my colleague and I were very kindly donated a free burger. Any day where someone gives you a free burger is a decent day I reckon. It was a lovely afternoon for it, too. Up until the point it was interrupted by a half hour monsoon.
I went out and saw some people last night for the first time in a while, which is important, particularly in light of what I spoke about yesterday. Most people are aware of the benefits of involving other people in their lives, but I seem to need reminders. My friend Chris and I used to speak of a sort of socialising sweet spot during our undergraduate years, where we were just inebriated, engaged and up for it enough to become the life and soul of the party. We described it as "bringing our A game". There were lower level variations of course. A "B or C game" would be most likely to occur and those nights were still fun.
I've since slid a long way down the alphabet and those days seem long gone now. I've become the sort of person who will nod sagely from the corner whilst others dominate the conversation. That is an easier position to take on nights like last night, when you've one friend who lives abroad who is back in town for an evening. He is, without going into details, going through a very trying time and one that puts my own struggles of late into some kind of perspective. He's a good guy with a positive outlook on life and I wish him all the best under circumstances that would floor any of us.
If nothing else, last night helped me to step outside myself which I think is an important thing. We will all at various points in our lives go through periods of dissatisfaction, hardship, self-loathing, self-doubt and worse. It is not just me. I know that that seems self-evident but it's not a truth that you necessarily acknowledge when you're wrapped up in your own problems.
I went out and saw some people last night for the first time in a while, which is important, particularly in light of what I spoke about yesterday. Most people are aware of the benefits of involving other people in their lives, but I seem to need reminders. My friend Chris and I used to speak of a sort of socialising sweet spot during our undergraduate years, where we were just inebriated, engaged and up for it enough to become the life and soul of the party. We described it as "bringing our A game". There were lower level variations of course. A "B or C game" would be most likely to occur and those nights were still fun.
I've since slid a long way down the alphabet and those days seem long gone now. I've become the sort of person who will nod sagely from the corner whilst others dominate the conversation. That is an easier position to take on nights like last night, when you've one friend who lives abroad who is back in town for an evening. He is, without going into details, going through a very trying time and one that puts my own struggles of late into some kind of perspective. He's a good guy with a positive outlook on life and I wish him all the best under circumstances that would floor any of us.
If nothing else, last night helped me to step outside myself which I think is an important thing. We will all at various points in our lives go through periods of dissatisfaction, hardship, self-loathing, self-doubt and worse. It is not just me. I know that that seems self-evident but it's not a truth that you necessarily acknowledge when you're wrapped up in your own problems.
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