Writer's Block

Barry Seal, an airline pilot is recruited by CIA agent Monty Schafer (Domhnall Gleeson) to conduct reconaissance missions over South America. He is intercepted by the Medellin Cartel who offer him a job. Schafer asks Seal to deliver guns to the Contra rebels in Nicaragua as part of. In turn, the cartel ask him to deliver guns to the Columbians and the drugs to the Contras who will deliver them to the States. With Tom Cruise in shades, I'm sure this film would have reminded me of Top Gun if I'd ever watched it in the first place. Domhnall Gleeson is a safe pair of hands in most roles, his stand out moment coming when he demands the burning of all records linking the CIA to Seal. I don't know how often this occurs in their offices but I'm inclined to believe it does. It reminded me of (although is vastly inferior to) Catch Me If You Can, a story about a criminal with a certain set of skills living the high life and giving the authorities the run around before it all ine...

I finally got round to watching Ava DuVernay's "13th" on Netflix this afternoon, which I've heard a lot about and I imagine many are familiar with, having been nominated for Best Documentary Feature at the Oscars (losing out to the terrific "O.J: Made In America"). The film's title refers to the 13th Amendment of the US Constitution, which prohibited slavery and servitude except in cases of incarceration. It proceeds to make the case that the African-American population have been targeted and criminalised to retain their status as second class citizens. And it's a compelling argument that takes us through Jim Crow legislation, the disproportionately hefty punishments for crack cocaine related offences through to Bill Clinton's "three strikes and you're out" policy that saw many black citizens imprisoned for life for three offences. We are dispiriting far from the end of these problems, as a chilling speech from Donald Trump abou...

A quiet bank holiday Monday. Popped into work for a few hours, took some bets. 75 bets. People gamble more on bank holidays, apparently. I also watched Jimmy Eat World's set from Reading Festival over the weekend, which I can conclude is the best way to experience Reading Festival, having been there in 2013. I was 25 years old. That is still too old to attend. But Jimmy Eat World are terrific. They returned last year with "Integrity Blues" (a fine record) and two brilliant London shows at the Troxy and Kentish Town Forum. Few of the bands I've seen over the past decade or so have been as consistently great as Jimmy Eat World and their 40 minute set on Iplayer demonstrates that still further.

Jimmy Logan (Channing Tatum) and Clyde Logan (Adam Driver) are two brothers who are down on their luck. Using Jimmy's insider knowledge as a former construction worker on the site, they elect to carry out a robbery at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. In doing so, they enlist the help of Joe Bang (Daniel Craig), an incarcerated explosives expert. One of the main joys of this film is watching James Bond cut loose as a tattooed criminal, repurposing his blue eyed intensity and Craig is terrific, even if you don't believe a man can make a bomb out of gummi bears. Like a lot of films styling themselves as comedic of late, I wished it was funnier. One scene involving a prison riot and the inmates' interest in Game of Thrones felt particularly contrived. Having said that, there's also some entertaining business with Seth McFarlane as a NASCAR owner, even if his character's accent drifts all over the Commonwealth. The last 30 minutes drags the narrative in an implausible d...

Regarding the Edinburgh Comedy Awards, it transpires that I was 33.33% correct. Hannah Gadsby ended up sharing the crown with John Robins. Best Newcomer was awarded to Natalie Palamides for her show "LAID". Robins had a very funny show and I'm pleased for him, although his underdog persona may be in need of a tweak as he heads towards "the big time". I'm unsure how I feel about a split decision (they were keen to emphasise it meant double prize money), although the awards judges seem to make things up as they go along. No-one received the Panel Prize, which seems like something of a cop out too. It's not quite as outright insulting as the year that all the comedians who performed in Edinburgh (including presumably yours truly) were given the award and the prize money put behind a couple of bars* or something. *By which I mean in the form of a tab. Had they given it to all the comedians and said the prize money would be placed in a cage somewhere in t...

I got the results of the final assessment of my AAT Level 3 qualification today. I walked out of the exam certain that I failed it for a number of reasons and indeed it transpires that I have. I was surprised at the margins involved, 61% with a pass mark of 70%. I suppose I should take the positives, as I'm clearly a lot closer to passing then I thought I was 6 weeks ago, when a score between 30-40% seemed more likely to me. But coming reasonably close also feels exasperating.  Having found this whole process immensely difficult, it feels frustrating to have to "go again". But I hope some hard work in my free time over the next couple of months will get me over the line in the retake.

I went for a drink with a friend last night who performs in the spoken word scene. I got onto the subject of the poems featured in the Nationwide ads on TV at the moment. My friend in the know informed me that each of those acts is getting £30k to write and perform them. Clearly I'm in the wrong business. Not for the first time. I saw Gavin Osborn play the Big Top at Machynlleth Comedy Festival for a bit back in April and he played some songs off his forthcoming new record. Said record is titled "Echo Bridge" and will be released next week. As a longstanding fan of his warm witty acoustic songs, this is excellent news. He released the first song off it yesterday entitled "I Am European" , confirming my suspicion that last year's referendum will be a key theme of the album. It's a song for us bedwetting liberal snowflakes who comprise the 48%, but none the worse for that.

The nominees for the Edinburgh Comedy Awards were announced today. Having written a blog yesterday saying that stand-up comedy should not be reduced to pithy one liners, I feel compelled to point out that it also shouldn't be a competition with winners and losers. But I've space to fill and if it provides a career fillip for certain people then surely that's no bad thing. I'm particularly pleased for Ahir Shah, who I've seen at the last two festivals and is developing into a top class comedian, adding strong jokes to his polemical style. I saw Spencer Jones in preview and he's someone else who deserves to be recognised for his terrific brand of prop comedy silliness. Likewise John Robins, whose post-breakup show was very good indeed. I didn't get round to Mat Ewins or Jordan Brookes, both of whom have been the subject of a great deal of word of mouth buzz. It seems exceedingly strange to me that the panel have ignored Joseph Morpurgo, whose brilliantly c...

How many more of these do I need to do? My boss pointed out it was four months and three days until Christmas, so that suggests a lot. I am committing to continuing to do something pointless purely because I've already come this far with it. But I'm aware that this is low quality content. No-one reading this would subscribe to my Patreon. Today was the day that they announce "the best joke of the Fringe" even though such a thing is clearly ridiculous. It's not a very good joke, but that's not the fault of the act in question who probably didn't write it in order for it to be scrutinised in minute detail by below-the-line commentators in broadsheet newspapers, before being declared terrible, symptomatic of the awful state of modern comedy and how none of us are a patch on Tommy Cooper. This has been the sequence of events in previous years anyway, I don't currently have the mental strength to put myself through it again to check. If all the people w...

Day off. I went to the gym for the first time in an age. It felt good to get a couple of hours under my belt although I could barely move afterwards and didn't actually push myself all that hard, mostly restricting my treadmill pace to "brisk walk". I also elected to weigh myself, with the resulting figure of 24 stone, 6 pounds. Back on the 16th March, I was 24 stone, 5 pounds. Obviously these are huge figures. I'm not far off 25 stone and that's the sort of amount you see bandied about in tabloid articles focusing on obese people. But equally after 6 months of once again failing to take care of myself or moderate my eating habits, I'm surprised at the lack of upward movement on the scales. It has made me think that even some minor improvements might yield a bit of weight loss in the short term and that's what I've got to work towards.

I checked and fortunately I wasn't the only Sunderland fan getting it in the neck from Leeds United's rabid fan base after the match yesterday. Also, I neglected to mention that this so called "big club" have won three top flight titles and one FA Cup. Whilst the much maligned Sunderland have won six top flight titles and two FA Cups. I have subsequently concluded that the denizens of Elland Road can suck my balls*.  In a jarring gear change, I've been watching The Critic today, following the adventures of schlubby film critic Jay Sherman. The show was created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss of The Simpsons and shares a similar sense of humour. It's basically a lot of film parodies and fat jokes, but good film parodies and fat jokes. The show is 23 years old and stands up alright once you've taken that into account. It also only has 23 episodes over a two season run so doesn't wear out its welcome. It's worth a look for animated comedy aficionados. ...

Sunderland lost 2-0 to Leeds United today in a televised fixture. I tweeted something to the effect of "Comfortably beaten by a Leeds team who won't do anything this season. It's a long way back to the top". My point was that although Leeds were the better team today, I thought that they were unlikely to achieve much this campaign, having recently set the league on fire with two 0-0 draws. On the basis that they failed to make the playoffs last season, have spent 13 years out of the top flight of English football, 3 of those years were in the third division and didn't have to do an awful lot to beat a poor Sunderland side. I did not quite anticipate the torrent of abuse of Leeds fans that followed, who said amongst other things that my surname "should have a W in it". Oh, spare me from these purveyors of Wildean wit. My notifications were racking up to the point that the whole affair was saying a lot more about Leeds fans than it was about me. Self awa...

Sir Bruce Forsyth died today at the age of 89. I'm currently rewatching the episode of Have I Got News For You he hosted, in which he introduces a section called "Play Your Iraqi Cards Right", an amusing take on his old presenting job featuring 52 Iraqis that were apparently on the US's "Most Wanted" list at the time. His delivery of the line "Please, this is satire!" is a particular delight, as is the total bewilderment of Ian Hislop. I read a while ago that Forsyth was born before both Anne Frank and Martin Luther King Jr, something that seems impossible to me but only serves to highlight his incredibly longeveity in television. It's difficult to think of a more ubiqitous figure in British showbusiness and it's fair to say that we will not see his like again.

I watched Richard Gadd's show "Monkey See, Monkey Do" as part of Comedy Central's "Live At Soho Theatre" series. The show won the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2016, in part through a huge amount of word of mouth buzz. A year before I had filled in at the last minute in one of his previews for "Waiting For Gaddot", a show in which he only appeared on stage in the last ten minutes and enlisted Ben Target, Ian Smith and Ed Aczel (or on that occasion, me) alongside a plethora of multimedia techniques to tell the story. He uses similar techniques here to explore notions of masculinity and anxiety whilst spending the entire hour on a treadmill running from the black dog, or rather some sort of ape. It's not always comfortable to watch but it is very distinctive, demonstrating Gadd's aptitude as a physical actor as we journey into his subconscious. In terms of comedy, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything quite like it and it's worth ...

I yawn. Punter: Wake up. Me: Why? Nothing good comes of waking up. Punter: You might think that, but as soon as you've put your feet on the floor, you have the chance to try again. Dear God, he's right. Where there's life there's hope, I suppose. My day was more pleasant than this exchange suggests, by the way. As I expected, there was novelty value in returning to work, although I remain resolutely "not a morning person". For pretty much the entirety of the hour after I wake up, the best case scenario is that I'm bewildered and self-loathing. I do at least get to ease my way into the working day, as it transpires that betting shops in the suburbs are not deluged at 9 o clock in the morning. Anyway, when I look back on these blogs to judge my wildly fluctuating moods, let the record show that today was ok. I'm still trying to take things one step at a time, stay in the moment, all that sort of thing.

Last day of my holiday today. I've mostly been resting up since I got back from Edinburgh so I'm hoping I have the requisite energy levels to get me through the next week or so. But I suspect going back to a role after a fortnight's absence will serve to highlight my lack of enthusiasm for the task at hand. Perhaps the solution is simply to not go on holiday again and presumably my employers would be delighted to oblige. I've started re-reading Mark Kermode's "Hatchet Job" in which he discusses the role of the film critic and the role of film criticism in the internet age. I always enjoy Kermode's reviews on his BBC Radio 5 show with Simon Mayo and unsurprisingly brings his enthusiasm for the medium onto the page. Although it still doesn't enlighten me on how film critics take notes at screenings. There's some entertaining stuff on directors slagging each other off and on the beliefs of film makers that whatever they do is of more merit than ...

A group of high school friends styling themselves as the "Flossy Posse" reunite 20 years later in New Orleans. Hijinks ensue. The central quartet of the film have good chemistry together, with Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett Smith pretty much old hands at this point As others have commented, Tiffany Haddish as Dina is the Zach Galifianakis/Melissa McCarthy type breakout star of the movie, stealing a lot of scenes through the sheer lunacy of her performance. One scene, involving a banana and a grapefruit will probably be seared into my memory forever. But I especially liked Regina Hall's performance as Ryan. Her character is an Oprah-type who has come down to New Orleans to sign a media deal with her husband, whilst struggling with marital strife behind the scenes. Her speech at the film's denouement feels genuinely honest and heartfelt, which is a difficult thing to pull off when we all know it's coming. It hits a lot of similar beats of this type of film, al...

In 1989, MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron) recounts the story of her mission to Berlin, where she was sent to retrieve a list of every spy working in the Soviet Union and to kill a double agent named Satchell who was responsible for the death of another MI6 agent. It's a fine performance from Theron, whose depiction of the character is as ice cold as the bath she emerges from in one of the film's opening scenes. Regrettably she's let down by an uninspired script and clumsy storytelling which fails to build up any excitement or intrigue, two important facets of a spy thriller. It does feel like a waste of talents like John Goodman, James McAvoy and Toby Jones. Instead we get a lot of action sequences soundtracked by 80s hits, with New Order, Nena and Queen all present and correct. One fight scene in a Berlin tower block is particularly visceral and highlights the gloom of the city in the Cold War period. This is director David Leitch's first film. He...

The Premier League returned this evening, meaning I can bury myself and my problems under a mountain of live football once more. A late comeback saw Arsenal beat Leicester 4-3. Arsenal still aren't winning the league this season, but it was a supremely entertaining curtain raiser. I caught Bad Neighbors 2 early this morning, which was one of the less glaring omissions from my cinema visits last year. Having said that, I enjoyed the first Bad Neighbors, as far as dumb US comedies go. This one sees a fledging sorority helmed by Chloe Grace-Moretz moving next door to Rose Byrne and Seth Rogan and threatening the forthcoming sale of their home. It's not as funny as the original but it's perfectly fine with some nice nods to that film, particularly with the office staff having a meltdown at the prospect of a return of a "prank war" that previously saw them propelled into the ceiling via airbags concealed in their seats. The film also has some positive messages abou...

I have for the past seven days been sleeping on a bunk bed (bottom bunk, thank Christ) so celebrated my return by hibernating like a bear. I then watched Sunderland play Bury in the League Cup. It was another largely low calibre football match but at least one that Sunderland didn't look like losing. But a 1-0 win over a team from the division below doesn't suggest that a corner has been turned. Still, George Honeyman scored his first goal for the club with a delightful chip over the goalkeeper and deservedly won Man of The Match. I also rewatched "Hail, Caesar!". The Coen brothers' latest isn't an all time classic but it's a fun love letter to old Hollywood with a handful of great set pieces, including a lovely Channing Tatum dance number and an absurd extended sequence involving Ralph Fiennes and mispronounciation. It's a good TV movie and I'd recommend it. I had completely failed to realise that John Bluthal is in it (playing an old Trot), who...

I started my second day with Pippa Evans' Joy Provision. A 2:40pm start, it's a Radio 4 timeslot for a Radio 4 comedian, but it set me up nicely for the rest of the day. Evans is a fine singer and with her backing duo delivered some fine, upbeat satirical songs. Very much job done. Next was Matt Winning. Winning has combined his surrealist sensibilities with a potent message about climate change and what we can do about it from his position as a Research Associate at UCL. Funny and informative. John Robins' hour "The Darkness Of Robins" pretty much solely focused on his breakup from his long term girlfriend at the end of the year. It was bleak, miserable and utterly hilarious, with a brutally dark set piece to close. Joseph Morpurgo's "Hammerhead" was the best thing I saw this festival though. The premise is a Q and A by Morpurgo after a 9 hour version of Dracula that veers off into all sorts of ludicrous directions. Crammed full of jokes and elabo...

I hit the ground running this Edinburgh with a Sara Pascoe/James Acaster double bill. Pascoe's "LadsLadsLads" is a more personal show than her most recent offerings, touching upon her recent breakup and the fact that she's now single for the first time in 15 years. It was a typically assured funny hour and the general message of not wanting to be defined by being in a relationship is a relatable one. I don't think her defence of incest is likely to catch on in the mainstream though. Acaster is rotating shows at this festival as part of his "Trelogy", covering his last three Edinburgh outings. I caught the opening night performance of "Recognise", in which he starts on the show on his knees as a nod to Torvill and Dean (the figure skaters exploited a section of the rules that stated their performance only starts when their skates hit the ice). It's one of a number of peculiar but brilliant ideas in the show, where Acaster tells us of his l...

Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily have written "The Big Sick" about their early years when the status of their relationship was uncertain, with Kumail pressurised by his family to marry a woman of Pakistani heritage. It was complicated still further when Emily fell into a coma. Nanjiani plays himself whilst Zoe Kazan plays Emily. Their courtship in the first half of the film is sweet and feels genuine and the audience falls for Emily as much as Kumail does, with Kazan's bright eyed, striking performance. Kumail is a comedian and there's a fair few scenes at his local comedy club as he and his friends prepare for a Just The Laughs showcase. There's something off about the film's depiction of stand-up, even if I'm prepared to accept it the differences between the UK and US. The same comedians seem to come back to the same venue each week to perform the same show. Also, none of the material is as funny as the film clearly wants us to find it. But it is alw...

Gru (Steve Carrell) and Lucy (Kristen Wiig) are dismissed from the Anti-Villain League after Gru's failure to catch the number one target on their most-wanted list, Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker). The Minions meanwhile have decided to leave Gru after Dru refuses to return to his previous life of villainy. It emerges that Gru has a long lost twin brother called Gru (Steve Carrell again). The two brothers must work together to bring Bratt down. The star of this film is undoubtedly Balthazar Bratt and it's clear Parker had a lot of fun with the role. A former child star spurned by Hollywood, he's a ridiculously ostentatious creation and responsible for the film's funniest and most inventive sequences. The Minions are, on the face of it, extremely annoying characters but are used responsibly here to good effect as vessels for the film's physical/slapstick comedy elements. A tribute to Gilbert and Sullivan of all things becomes one of the movie's most memorable mome...