20th November

Today was one of a number of days recently that I've let get away from me. I had a sort of depressive relapse over the weekend and I'm not at my best. I have an exam looming over me in nine days time that I have revised but still don't feel mentally prepared for. I basically just want this year to end and start afresh in January, when I know I need to start making some big changes in my life. I turn 30 next year and I'm still left with the nagging sense that my 20s were an enormous chasm of nothing and life is passing me by.

But as I said to my father this evening, "You've got to keep living until you die".

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